“…but she SMASHED da homie!”

Does anyone remember the infamous episode of For the Love of Ray J when Ray found out that light skin shawty with the tat on her face had sexual intercourse with one of his boys?

This was back when reality TV was GOODT.

Danger was one of the girls I liked on the show. The tat on her face gave her an extra #edge that I digged. Her getting slut-shamed on TV  hurt me because she was a cool chick.for-the-love-of-ray-j-dangerThe reason I bring this show up is because I, TOO, have smashed the homie (s).
I mean…who hasn’t?
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AND I have lived to tell the tale.

Smashing friends is not something I plot on but it has happened…or I’ve wanted too.

If your friend fine, he mine.

I try to keep my lovers separate but what am I supposed to do when I ain’t know you were the ugly friend in ya crew? This why networking is so important.

I was unaware he had much better looking friends until I already hit. To make it worse, they were his roommates. I was cool with ol boy and one could say that we were even friends but I wanted to take my fucks back and choose up on one of his homies. MAYBE, a slight MMF fantasy could be filled. MAYBE. There was one that was at least hinting at some one on one action  because of the history I had with his friend, he would only tease me about it. I made it clear that the friend could get it, the #loyalty outweighed the temptation.

I did, however, intercept another crew. There was a follower on Twitter who I thought was cute. After exchanging likes and banter a couple of times on the TL, we met up and had lackluster sex. His member was of a disappointing size. I should have known because his voice was SUPER light with no bass. TIP: If the voice ain’t got no bass, don’t give that dick a taste. He was canceled shortly after, especially when I found out he had a girlfriend. Again, networking is key in college. Lil dick men cheating like they have plenty to go around. You trying to feed a village by cutting up a Tic Tac and saying “issa meal”. COMEDY.

Two years later, I started messing with one of his acquaintances (it wasn’t on purpose, I promise).

WHY NIGGAS GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS?!

Going to a PWI, the population of black people is a small community so eventually ya gonna find out you shared the same box, mouth, ass (if you’re into that) with someone. It’s literally 6 Degrees of Sexparations in college because niggas need an extra for a pick up game of basketball and now they consider themselves BFFs, limiting whose balls you can juggle in ya mouth without intercepting a circle.

I never spoke on it and didn’t feel bad because there was not much to address. It was a fling. IT WAS THE PAST. That dick didn’t make an embossed impression in my kitty’s walls. I was going to keep mum about it until one day at an event, the friend made a slick remark like “oh, I know so and so used to be your bae”.

A scary bitch would have been shook and told on herself but I’m a savage. I simply hit him with a “bae? *insert big hearty laugh* NAH”.
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I WILL NEITHER CONFIRM NOR DENY THESE ALLEGATIONS.

He knew about it already. For how long? I can’t tell you but I CAN inform you that he was still backstroking in this thang with no issues.

Sex with me is so amazing. You’d be a fool to drop this over some homie dick!

Maybe, I, like Danger, am getting clowned in a GroupMe for smashing friends but giphy1

If we’re not super close or have no intentions on expanding our dynamics more than fuck buddies, your friend might be up for the taking.

To all the women who have “smashed the homie”, I dedicate this to you.

Sleeping with friends is not something I encourage but shit happens, right? I didn’t mean to fuck him, it was an accident.
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