Hold This L: Three’s a Crowd

There were plenty of warning signs that I shouldn’t have fucked with this man. I wasn’t really attracted to him but he was cool people. He told me that he wanted to get at me since we were in high school so he BEEN plotting on dekid. The other reasons being because he was Jamaican (I have a thing against island men) and a HBCU Greek.

After being deprived of sex for months, I finally gave in and hit him up (let’s call him Derek) to see what he was all about since I was in town to see friends. When I got to his house, we smoked and laughed about memories of when we went to school together. A red flag popped up when we got to the topic of past sexual experiences. He revealed to me that he really loves threesomes and probably couldn’t be in a relationship with a chick if she wasn’t down for that. I laughed and brushed off the comment because 1. I wasn’t trying to be his woman, just wanted some dick  2. I didn’t care.

As the night went on, Derek finally decided to show me what that mouf do. Old boy was aggressive, dominating and was packing more than I thought he was. The sex was a welcome back into the game. I was excited to find someone who could match my sex drive and teach an old dog some new tricks. He made me feel like a rookie. I should have known everything was too good to be true. The dick was huge, the mouth was heavenly and he had good stamina. Sure, he was a buttaface but when them lights off, I forget about it. Yall see the warning signs, right? I saw them too but I thought “what’s the worst that could happen?”. We had sex one more time after the first encounter and we both were hooked on the other. After I had left, he texted me that he wanted me to come back to see him and he’d even pay for it to happen. He mentioned he had his female “best friend” coming down to visit and we would turn up for the weekend.  Like I said, it’s too good to be true. I’m just coming back from my hiatus from sex and I get blessed with good dick, an offer to pay for the trip and a fun time? Hell naw, I’m not that lucky. Something in the back of my mind was saying “giiiirl” so I asked him about the remarks he made about threesomes. “I mean, I’ll come but is this the friend you be ménage à trois-ing with?” I texted back in a joking manner. If that’s what he was trying to get, I’d rather stay home. He responded back, “I mean, she likes guys and girls but we just gonna chill and go out”.

So, I’m trying to debate whether I’m going to go or not. My pussy said “bitch, you’re going” while my brain is like “ho, don’t do it”. I knew this could turn into a disaster. I am open to doing a threesome but it has to be if the vibes are right. If the friend was fine enough, maybe I might be down.
I said “fuck it” and told him to count me in. Fast forward to Friday and I’m riding with him back to his house after I make my return. I didn’t even tell my friends I was back in town because I knew I would be…busy. We’re flirting with each other and kissing at every red light hhand I’m thinking how lit this weekend is about to be. Before we get to the house, I asked him if we can get some food real quick. As I’m eating, Derek says “Hurry up and finish that because I wanna fuck you as soon as we get into the house.”

My panties got super wet and I stuffed my face with as much food as I can.

His friend didn’t arrive for another 3 hours so we had plenty of time to get it in before she showed up. We fucked all over the place til we wore ourselves out. Around 9PM, his bestie (let’s call her Karla) shows up with her friend and her friend’s boyfriend. They drop her off because they still had to go to the hotel and get dressed for the club. Derek introduces us and we all start taking shots and vibing. She seemed cool and chill so I let my guard down a bit. While conversing about what time we should get ready, things started to get a little awkward. Another red flag shows up when Derek dims the lights and mentions to Karla how he forgot to get more candles. Karla was like “damn, you did?” meanwhile I’m just trying to figure out what we need them for.

As I’m sipping my cup, I start to feel hot and bothered but not in the good way. It was like a tension was in the air…like they were waiting for something to happen…something that involved the three of us. It’s dark in the living room but I can see movement occurring right next to me on the couch. In the corner of my eye, I see that Derek and Karla are kissing. I think to myself “damn, they can’t wait for a bitch to be drunk before yall try to convert me?!” I start sweating but I’m determined to keep my cool so I continue to sip my cup. While I’m thinking about all of this, these two are still making out and then I feel Derek groping my leg. I guess he was trying to coax me into joining in. I push his wandering hands away and smoothly got up to get dressed for the club. I’m no prude, I’ve been with girls before but this was happening too sudden for me.

I’m still trying to keep cool as I hear them follow behind me. So many emotions flood me and I want to bust out laughing. I’m wishing someone else was here so I could ask them if they were seeing what I was. As I pick out what I’m going to wear, I ask who is taking a shower first. Karla says she wants to go so I say “ok, I’ll be last”. Tell me why both of them go take a shower together. I thought I was tripping til I hear banging in the bathroom and now I’m looking bewildered. Once they’re out, I regroup and act like I didn’t notice or hear anything. I find some cleaning products under the sink, spray the shower down and quickly take my bath. I wanna go home but I can’t call anyone to get me at this point so I decide to tough it out til tomorrow.


We get dressed and I feel Karla eyeballing me like she is plotting to get dis pussy by the end of the night. I can’t even look Derek in his face and I guess he felt that my demeanor had changed. We get to the club and meet up with Karla’s friend. The music is good so we get a few drinks and hit the dance floor. Karla keeps twerking on me and grabbing my hand to make sure I don’t sneak away. The whole night, I can’t help but think about the situation I’m in and how I’m gonna make my exit out. I can’t even get into the music because I SWEAR every song that came on referenced “girl on girl” action or threesomes.
Now any other day, I’m rapping my heart out to every song but tonight had me like

Lyrics from Real Sisters by Future starts to play, “Oh, that’s your best friend? I’m tryna fuck her withcha!”, then Low Life comes on Got my baby momma and my side bitch kissing” then Freak Ho starts to play. I can’t even get into the music tonight because it’s clear I’m not about that life LMAO. Derek went to go talk to some friends but ends up texting me “I like your dress. You look so good tonight”. I don’t respond. He texts me again and I ignore it. When I check my phone again, I see he sent a message asking “Are you good? She doesn’t think you like her.” I finally text him back saying that she’s cool, hoping he’d get off my back. As I’m dancing, Derek comes up from behind to dance but I wasn’t feeling it.
After the club was over, we ended up getting lost because Derek forgot where he parked. We spent 3 hours looking for his car downtown. He even paid the carriage people to give us a ride so we can find the garage he parked in. Now, I’m getting mad. This threesome pressure is getting to a nigga and now we really can’t find the car? I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE STAYED HOME. Before Derek calls an Uber to take us back to his place, we witnessed a drunk guy fall three floors and smack the concrete. Tonight’s too lit!

We make it into the house at 5 in the morning. I plop on the couch and so do Derek and Karla. I’m annoyed they won’t go in his room and hope they realize I’m not gon fuck. While we sit in silence, Karla ends up going to “sleep” so I tell Derek to put her in his bed hoping he’ll stay with her. Instead, this nigga comes back to the couch and scoots next to me. He asks me to come in the room but I decline. He questions why and I tell him I’ll sleep on the couch instead. I’m keeping it cute until he tries to touch and kiss me so I swerve him.
He attempts again and I move my face. Feeling some type of way, he asks why won’t I kiss him. Hmm…I wonder why. I tell him I just don’t want to which triggers him to keep asking me why I’m acting like this. Trying to keep my cool, I tell him “There’s another person here, why don’t you go kiss her?”. I mean, shit, he acts like he doesn’t have another option LOL.  Ain’t that what sisterwives are for?
He responds that he doesn’t want to kiss her but me. I roll my eyes and ask him is there a problem? He vents how I’m being distant and cold and I say I’m chillin. Refusing to budge, he gives up on me and goes into his room. Over the whole trip, I decided to leave and started packing my things. When my Uber shows up, I walk out and text him that I’m gone.

Looking back at the situation, I laugh at my first initiation for a threesome. I take the L for going and punking out but I wasn’t ready. However, I am still interested in doing one. When will it happen? Who knows.


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